Dear Dawn,
Please quit doing things that make me nervous. This writing thing is fine, but sharing it like you do, well not so much. You my dear are just not that great of a writer. Average at best. You weren’t even trained in this. For God’s sake, you’re an accountant! A couple classes and a writer’s group and you think your Anne Lamott or something? What do you think you’re doing?
Oh, and I saw a couple typos. It’s out now. Too bad. Should have caught that. Plus, not everyone thinks like you do. You know a lot of people are going to disagree with you right? You know that you’re not going to quote scripture right or refer to religion right, or phrase things the way certain people need to hear it – right? Plus, what’s the point here anyway? What are you even trying to become or change here? You are just one person. You don’t matter. Let’s just stop while you still have your dignity. Why don’t you go work on a spreadsheet or something? You really don’t need to be doing any of this you know.
Your friend, your protector, your knight in shining armor here for your rescue,
Fear
* * * *
Dear Fear,
I see you. I really do. I see how you want so badly to protect me. I even see that is out of wanting to save me from hurt or criticism. You want me to not feel pain. I get that. I understand your role here, and I really do believe you are trying very hard in your best way possible to truly help me.
But, here’s the thing Fear, I feel this strong pull inside me to GROW. I feel like this explosion is happening inside my soul saying, “There is more. You are here for doing something. Go now and do it.” That pull to grow forward is so much stronger than you are. So, while I appreciate your input very much, you are not in charge here. You are not running this show. We can’t get through this life without pain, so let’s not fool ourselves into thinking if we just don’t move much we won’t get hurt. That is not the truth. I was asked to show up by someone much bigger than you.
My job is to show up and do the best I can with all I have within me. That is where my job ends. What the rest of the world does with what I’ve offered up is not my gig. My energy is called upon to be as genuine and real as possible to my struggles here. My job is to offer that up in my corner of the world in hopes it may help another’s path. So, while I appreciate all your concern for me I am choosing to follow God, and not you. Don’t worry, when I do fall, which I know I will because you’ve told me SO many times, it’s OK – I am not alone here.
Don’t for one-second feel I don’t value your voice though. Anytime I hear you speak you show me where I can GROW. You are like a tornado siren for telling me Look out – there is growth and change straight ahead. And for that I thank you!
Love for you always, but please stay in your corner over there, out of the way. Thank you my friend.
Dawn